just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
