Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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