I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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