Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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