I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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