I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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