BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
