forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
