check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
