you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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