she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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