Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
