dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
