just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
