So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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