You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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