I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
