If i come over, it means nothing
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
smell my finger.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
