I want to stick my p in your. b.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
