when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
