All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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