Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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