sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
