Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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