guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
