I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
