im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
