who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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