Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
