Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
