you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
