You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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