she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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