what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
