i already hear my dad disowning me
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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