what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
