The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
