Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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