I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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