Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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