So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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