i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize