I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
