does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
