As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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