I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
