i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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