i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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