You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
