i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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