Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize