Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
