The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
