dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
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Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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