I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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