Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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