Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
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is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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