My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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