Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...