Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

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(765): View more from Indiana

that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming

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(818): View more from California

You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(707): View more from California

she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.

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(917): View more from New York City

I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror

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