I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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