We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.