yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
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he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
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i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.