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• (407): View more from Florida

  So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.

  (352): View more from Florida

  WHAT?!

  (407): View more from Florida

  He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (915): View more from Texas

  She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.

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