she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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