ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Come see our sink grown plant.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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