I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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