ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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