Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
