I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
