So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
