Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
