He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
