look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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