you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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