Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
